Kids in Homosexual Households: In their Own Words (Graphic Detail)

Rafkin (1990) and Saffron (1996) published 57 narratives in which children of homosexual parents spoke about their experiences. Some approved of the lifestyle, such as the child of a lesbian who said, "It doesn't matter if you are raised by a pack of dogs, just as long as they love you!" However, numerous others pointed out the difficulties they faced while being reared in homosexual households.

Girl (13): "I don't have many men in my life, so I'm not as comfortable around them as I would like to be. ?It's really hard for kids of lesbians. ? I don't know if I'm gay or straight."

Boy (14): "I missed having a relationship with a man when I was growing up."

Girl (7): "I get to snuggle with them in the nighttime. ? I might get married. I might not like men. I might be a lesbian. I might like to be with both, I don't really know yet. There are a lot of choices."

Woman (19): "Growing up is a hard enough thing to do, and I sometimes resented my mother for making it harder. ? My mother, my sisters and I attended these (lesbian/feminist) merrymakings. I'd sometimes bring my best friend and we'd pretend to 'be together' to avoid being hit on."

Boy (12): "(I have) been to every Gay Pride March. Last year ? two men came up to us. One of them started touching me. ? I didn't want to go this year because of that."

Woman (20): "That my parents were gay made it a lot easier for me to come out and see that there could be a physical dimension to my friendships with girls. ? I have experimented sexually, and my parents have created a supportive environment for that."

Man (27): "I met lesbian friends of my mother's who also had kids. ? I do recall our wishing our mothers were more attentive to us than to each other. We kids would get together and have sex, males or females, in any combination. ? Since my parents had sex with the same sex (my mother with other women, my stepfather with me), I had not understood that homosexuality is wrong. Also, at the time I couldn't figure out my own sexuality, because I was having sex with people of both sexes."

Girl (17): "I've pushed myself to be heterosexual because I know my mom wants me to be lesbian. I'd like to have a lesbian experience, because otherwise, how will I know what I want?"

Woman (23): "I've always known my mother as a lesbian. ? She always lived with her lovers?. When the relationship was over, these lovers would leave, saying they wanted to continue a relationship with me. But they never did."

Woman (19): "Being a father isn't great for my dad's image. ? When we go to the supermarket and I call him Dad, he tries to shush me up. ? He thinks men won't look at him if they know he's got a daughter."

Reprinted by permission Family Voice.

August Home