If you really love each other,wont that hold
you steady when the storms come?
Answer: Not necessarilyand certainly not if you
are thinking of love as a romantic feeling. Feeling wonderful about one another does not
make two people compatible over the long haul. Many couples assume that the excitement of
their courtship will continue for the rest of their lives. That virtually never occurs! It
is na?ve to expect two unique individuals to mesh like a couple of machines and to remain
exhilarated throughout life. Even gears have multiple cogs with rough edges to be honed
before they will work in concert.
That honing process usually occurs in the first year or two of
marriage. The foundation for all that is to follow is laid in those critical months. What
often occurs at this time is a dramatic struggle for power in the relationship. Who will
lead? Who will follow? Who will determine how the money is spent? Who will get his or her
way in times of disagreement? Everything is up for grabs in the beginning, and the way
these early decisions are made will set the stage for the future.
The apostle Paul gave us the divine perspective on human
relationshipsnot only in marriage, but in every dimension of life. He wrote,
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others
better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3).
That one verse contains more wisdom than most marriage manuals
combined. If heeded, it could virtually eliminate divorce from the catalog of human
experience. It will give you stability when the storms begin to howl.
Send your questions to Dr. Dobson, c/o Focus on the Family, PO Box 444, Colorado
Springs, CO 80903. Dr. Dobson is the President of Focus on the Family, a nonprofit
organization dedicated to the preservation of the home. Copyright 1997 James Dobson, Inc.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.